Category Archives: Observations

How I view things

Talk Yourself Into Happiness

 

Happiness is an elusive thing that remains out of reach for many of us. We look outward for someone or thing to provide the missing piece in our lives. “If only I had more money… I would be happy” or “If I was in a relationship, then I would be happy”. The reality is that true happiness comes from within, and because of the negative nature of our world, it takes constant effort to maintain. You can talk yourself into happiness and here are some simple practices to improve your outlook. It begins by saying “I am happy!” Continue reading Talk Yourself Into Happiness

Quick and Dirty Book Review: The Power of Habit

I recently finished reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg and it knocked my socks off! Duhigg delves into the science of why we do what we do, from addiction to how we buy cleaning products. It was incredibly interesting and informative, and I learned a lot about my own habits and what drives them. I recommend this book to anyone that wants to learn more about basic human nature, and it is essential for all business persons or those in sales; if you interact with another human being…you’re in sales. Continue reading Quick and Dirty Book Review: The Power of Habit

Too Many Lemons?

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I have found in life that most people have been given too many lemons. They have grown tired of lemonade and just try to pass the sourness on to everyone around them. Human nature tends toward the negative…except for those freaks who are truly upbeat and look for the best in every person and situation. Negativity is a learned behavior based on emotion, rather than thought or logic. Fear, jealousy, anger, frustration, and doubt highlight all the little things that are wrong with our lives causing unhappiness. We then consciously, or unconsciously, try to drag others down to our miserable level. Continue reading Too Many Lemons?

Not winning the $1.5 billion lottery changed my life

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First, to the actual winners of the biggest cash give-away in the history of mankind…suck it! Sorry, I’m an incredibly poor loser (I’m not sorry, and you can really suck it), and I had my heart set on winning. I was absolutely, positively sure I would win. I opened my heart to the Universe, as the Law of Attraction says you must, and said, “Show me the money!” Instead the Universe hit me with a metaphorical meteorite saying, “You have a better chance of winning a planet shrugging contest than a bunch of unearned cash…you maggot.” And I didn’t. Continue reading Not winning the $1.5 billion lottery changed my life

Boomerang Flip-flop

Not just footwear.
Not just innocent footwear.

I have discovered a secret skill that is either inherent, or taught, to all mothers. It appears, seemingly by accident, with the first child. The ability increases exponentially with practice and appears much earlier with the second and subsequent children. The first time comes as an epiphany born of fatigue and frustration. At about the time a toddler starts to gain confidence and speed on their feet, they also begin to get into mischief. Mothers are constantly jumping, diving, and grabbing falling items. Fathers don’t think or react quickly enough and are therefore useless when Junior is perched naked on the kitchen counter with Grandma’s crystal vase. Continue reading Boomerang Flip-flop

Reduced Sex Drive?

Got the winter blues?

Today I would like to discuss a serious illness. Seasonal depression, or Seasonal Affective Disorder with the super-not-so-cute acronym SAD. This affliction is characterized by extreme mood changes with the seasons. Winter seems to be the season that causes the most grief, but there are some weirdos that suffer in the summer. Symptoms include, but are not limited to: inability to rise in the morning, tendency to overeat carbohydrates, lack of energy, and REDUCED SEX DRIVE. So, now we know that cold weather impairs the whoopie-receptors (Yes, we have those). All of this leads to pessimism, depression, and hopelessness. (And you thought it was our country’s economic and political situation.)

Continue reading Reduced Sex Drive?

Valentine’s Day Emergency

We interrupt our regularly scheduled blog, (which generally occurs when I can put the donut down long enough to type), to address the Valentine’s Day emergency. Today men and women everywhere are waking up in a cold sweat with the realization that they have waited until the last possible moment to come up with the perfect gift, or perfect date, for their significant other. Actually its only men…women tend to have their business in order when to comes to gifts, or even just remembering important dates. Continue reading Valentine’s Day Emergency

Toilet-papering is a Gateway Crime

I have observed an alarming trend: teens and preteens are being driven around by a parent, or other supposedly responsible adult, to toilet paper people’s houses. This is an activity that consists of flinging toilet paper on a person’s home, yard, trees…and extra points are awarded if some is attached to the family pet. It is a fairly harmless prank, as there is no damage inflicted. Continue reading Toilet-papering is a Gateway Crime

The Hazards of Summer

The front door burst open, startling me. My 4 year old daughter ran in holding her eye and crying in obvious pain. I pulled her hand away and cringed at the red, swollen mess I beheld. It looked like she had been punched. I started searching for the culprit asking her who had done it. “Grammy.” she said.

I held her at arms length, so I could gaze into her good eye. “Are you saying that Grammy punched you in the eye?” Continue reading The Hazards of Summer

Don’t Put Your Head In A Microwave

It seems to me that appliances don’t last as long as the ones we had growing up. As soon as the warranty expires, you can count on complete systems failure. I am old enough to remember when my family got our first microwave. It was a behemoth. It took two grown men to lift it and had the interior capacity to cook a turkey. It even came with a built in temperature probe. Continue reading Don’t Put Your Head In A Microwave