All posts by Matthew

Toilet Paper and the Samurai Pooping Position

When you live hours from anywhere, there are some things you just don’t forget when embarking on a road trip. If you have small children, it becomes even more important to have certain essentials, and when I say certain essentials…I mean toilet paper. When the urge comes upon a 6-year-old, it is usually an immediate concern. There often isn’t time to find a gas station or campground, and in rural Idaho, those places may be a long way off. Continue reading Toilet Paper and the Samurai Pooping Position

Ridicule Others and Improve Self-Esteem

In cooperation with established research entities (YouTube mostly), I have developed one sure-fire way to feel better about yourself. This method has been scientifically proven by some science guys in a comprehensive study. The details of that study are not herein important, but I wanted you to know that this is a legitimate presentation. So here it is: the surest way to improve your own feelings of worth and satisfaction is to make fun of other people. Now hold on turbo…I know that this sounds really simple and silly to begin with, but bear with me. The following is a primer on how to ridicule others and improve self-esteem. Continue reading Ridicule Others and Improve Self-Esteem

Talk Yourself Into Happiness

 

Happiness is an elusive thing that remains out of reach for many of us. We look outward for someone or thing to provide the missing piece in our lives. “If only I had more money… I would be happy” or “If I was in a relationship, then I would be happy”. The reality is that true happiness comes from within, and because of the negative nature of our world, it takes constant effort to maintain. You can talk yourself into happiness and here are some simple practices to improve your outlook. It begins by saying “I am happy!” Continue reading Talk Yourself Into Happiness

I Declare Yeehawd

 

The world watches Islamic extremists commit atrocities against women, children, Christians, above average looking goats…and pretty much everybody else. They promise acts of terror in our country because…well…because they hate our stinking guts. We offend them with our sexuality, our free speech, our excessiveness in every aspect of our lives, our sexuality, and mostly because of our meddling foreign policy. I do not pretend to know the intricacies required to co-exist with other nations, but looking at the track record of our nation…I don’t think the people we’ve entrusted with those decisions do either. Continue reading I Declare Yeehawd

Quick and Dirty Book Review: The Florence Prescription

The Florence prescription, written by Joe Tye with Dick Schwab, is an engaging guidebook for improving culture in the modern healthcare facility. The book is written as a parable with Florence Nightingale, the founder of modern nursing, appearing to characters in the story. She shares wisdom gained in the late 1800s treating wounded soldiers during the Crimean War and helps apply them in a hospital struggling with a negative environment. Continue reading Quick and Dirty Book Review: The Florence Prescription

10 Keys To An Average Life

 

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Let’s face it, being exceptional is not for everyone. Most of us do not have the drive, desire, or capabilities required to stand out in a crowd. Success is an elusive, perplexing concept that remains out of reach like the will-o’-the-wisp of folklore. As someone who excels at mediocrity, I am here to help you set your sights lower, think smaller, and lean neither out nor in…but against a wall. Here are the 10 keys to an average life (the list should be longer, but procrastination and apathy set the word count): Continue reading 10 Keys To An Average Life

Quick and Dirty Book Review: The Power of Habit

I recently finished reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg and it knocked my socks off! Duhigg delves into the science of why we do what we do, from addiction to how we buy cleaning products. It was incredibly interesting and informative, and I learned a lot about my own habits and what drives them. I recommend this book to anyone that wants to learn more about basic human nature, and it is essential for all business persons or those in sales; if you interact with another human being…you’re in sales. Continue reading Quick and Dirty Book Review: The Power of Habit

Too Many Lemons?

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I have found in life that most people have been given too many lemons. They have grown tired of lemonade and just try to pass the sourness on to everyone around them. Human nature tends toward the negative…except for those freaks who are truly upbeat and look for the best in every person and situation. Negativity is a learned behavior based on emotion, rather than thought or logic. Fear, jealousy, anger, frustration, and doubt highlight all the little things that are wrong with our lives causing unhappiness. We then consciously, or unconsciously, try to drag others down to our miserable level. Continue reading Too Many Lemons?

How to turn a small problem into a large one

Trying to take a shortcut, when you know better, often leads to increased complications. Case in point: the bake element in our kitchen range went out recently. Not a big deal right? Order a new element, remove two screws, pull old element out several inches to reveal wire connections…and here is where the trouble started. There was a wire snugly attached to one side of the element, but not the other side. Read on to discover how to turn a small problem into a large one. Continue reading How to turn a small problem into a large one

Not winning the $1.5 billion lottery changed my life

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First, to the actual winners of the biggest cash give-away in the history of mankind…suck it! Sorry, I’m an incredibly poor loser (I’m not sorry, and you can really suck it), and I had my heart set on winning. I was absolutely, positively sure I would win. I opened my heart to the Universe, as the Law of Attraction says you must, and said, “Show me the money!” Instead the Universe hit me with a metaphorical meteorite saying, “You have a better chance of winning a planet shrugging contest than a bunch of unearned cash…you maggot.” And I didn’t. Continue reading Not winning the $1.5 billion lottery changed my life